Youngest I'll ever be

Of all the nights
I've missed you in each
Only to end up wishing
You remember me 
Or even a part of me atleast

And in every flaws and curve 
Of my own soul
I found traces of you
As if you were meant to 
Fold all my creases 
Heal my self inflicted pain
Of which I was the cause

Bitter truth told is always better than false hope promised.

She comes unexpectedly 
in my brain
Pausing the nerves
Causing a sprain

I still remember days
When I used to pray
Not that I was naive
But I didn't knew
People eventually fade
Now that I know 
Is it that I grew?
I miss the old me
Or is it just a glow?

God is kind. Perhaps too much. 

Let's keep it simple
I'm not in love with your dimple
Neither in with your eyes
Nor the way you shy
I'm in love with you total
Despite knowing it's fatal 
We won't meet cause of fate
But I think I should tell you my feelings
Before it gets too late.

I've missed you every night only to wake up with 
the feeling that I'm gonna do that every day.

I often try to pen you up in Words, not realising 
English has finite words while my feelings are infinite. 

Whenever I see me
I feel I'm half
The other half being
Always with you
You come to my mind
Each new second
Is it only me Missing you?
Or did you felt the pain too?
There was always a reason
I avoided confessing you
Half I feared society 
The other half I feared losing you

The shadows 
Which I often find
Myself lost into
Are nothing but 
The remains of our
Intertwined souls

And I know
I won't be able to 
Forget you
Till my last breath 
Since you're etched 
Into every openings
Of my broken heart

A part of me 
Went away with you
When you left
Now all I'm left
Is handful of thoughts
And some memories of you.

If we meet again 
I'll make sure
I unfold your heart
And see whether 
Mine fit inside yours
For what is the safest place
If not your heart
To rest my soul

Why do I feel
We'll meet again
As if my soul longs
For a missing part
Being carried by
Your broken heart. 

-> This one is closest to me.

Even if you were 
Meant to break my heart
I'm grateful for your
Presence in my life 
For you calmed 
The chaos in me 
like no one did

The world is hell bent on my survival
I am myself responsible for my destruction.

If only somehow you could've been mine,
I would've never been so reliant 
on poetry to reimburse your absence. 

If ever our love story gets written
Don't know I'll be hero or villain
Hero that let you go 
Villain of my own heart or
Just a someone in your part

And I know
Whoever I'm gonna meet after you
Will only lead me to some poem or thoughts
But will not complete my soul. 

You look familiar
As if you take part in my sins
Or bear their punishment on my behalf
Looks like you want me by your side
Otherwise, you wouldn't cross my way everyday
Opening up isn't comfort
Holding in is a tragedy
And I'm good at both
I love to decay myself
But I'd love if you'll be at my grave
I'll die with a satisfaction
You were with me even for a moment.

Only almighty knows
How hard I try
To fill your void
Only to end up every time
With empty heart and 
A handful of melancholia

But what if
I chose to never confess
Contain it in my heart
Drowned in thoughts
& leave the world
Like an unturned book
Would it be fine for you?

Gradually I'm getting
All these years I never actually
Lived in my home
I just passed time
Patiently waiting to leave
For it was no less than a hell
And no more than a Grave. 

It's miraculously disturbing
How your memories hit me suddenly
Out of nowhere
As if your heart longs For
My forgotten roots
Which were once
A part of yours

Often people ask me
Why don't I have any addiction?
I'm in no mood to tell them
I'm addicted to keep breaking my heart
over and over again
by replaying your memories.

And since I was stunned by Your beauty
I chose to remain silent 

And since I found no one like you
I let everyone go

And since no one understood me like you do
I chose to remain unheard 

And since no one gave me the warmth of love like you
I chose to be cold blooded all my life 

And since no one calmed my soul like you
I chose to keep burning all my life 

Of all the words you could say
You chose the one which hurt me
Of all the memory you could erase
You chose the one closest to me

I kept thinking about writing a song 
on your beauty when I reach home 
Now here I'm out of words to describe the same.

My heart and feet are in constant battle. 
One keep getting closer to you, 
the other I make sure keeps getting far from you. 

Since I heard you're not into me
I traverse less from heart to soul
Each one betrayed the other.

Gift me a book. I'll Drown reading it.
Gift me a library I'll ask for your arms 
to die while reading them all. 

-> Yeah. I admit. I'm a book worm.

The very best I learnt from you is the feeling of waiting 
for someone since you couldn't do it for me. 

There are days when I miss you the most. 
Others just remind me I've a life too. 

You look scarred
Who knows what's hiding behind them
Your own sins Or
Sins of your ancestors
Of which you've become part.

And if I were to meet you someday again
I'll be apologising first
Since I no longer carry the heart which fell for you. 

He who finds his salvation in a person is destined to be alone. 

I wonder if you might be Waiting for me
Cause I haven't moved an inch without you. 

If you could somehow open the seams of my heart
All you'll see is your own reflections.

I never believed in God
Until we met and got separated
Since it made me realise
You're the god I was looking for all my life. 

Now that I know
Why men Have two faces
What should I choose
Being innocent among cruel
Or cruel among dime worth people 

The closer I'm to home
The more homesick I feel
I noticed with the years
The stairs of my home 
Went smaller in size
Even the balcony shrank
It did make me wonder
Nature has a strange way of 
Telling us we are growing
It won't show in ourselves quite clearly
Until we chose to look at someone else
And see if they're withering

I think of you so often that my 
thoughts get tangled but even then 
You're the only one who comes to the rescue. 

You've played with my heart so enough, 
I don't mind myself being tossed around for your pleasure.

I thought of giving up on you but soon 
I realised it meant to give up on poetry as well.

I've loved you a thousand times more every time 
you said you miss me when I'm not around.

If I'd known beforehand
You're gonna leave me
I would've left the part of me
Which was gonna love you.

You seem a goddess to me
But which one I wonder
The one I pray for my soulmate
Or the one who took away her 

I'll never forget the night we met
For I'd always remain in doubt
It was best thing to happen or
Just another lesson for me 

-> Lord Huron's The Night We Met playing in background.

And if you consider to leave me, 
do leave me with full pride and glory 
so, when I die, I can boast among gods 
who I was loved by.

She doesn't stare at anyone
Afraid someone might read her soul
She smiles at no one
Afraid they might steal her smile
If that happens all she'll be left with is 
A Void heart with empty smile.

How tragic is it that we humans talk 
the least about the things we feel the most?

And when the sun would forget it's radiance
When darkness would've encompassed the world
You may find me hiding in a corner
Shielded by Your hope of returning

And when the worldly pleasures have consumed me
Leaving nothing but guiltier body
You may find my soul resting somewhere
Waiting for you to claim what was yours all the way

Love does hold the power of making one a writer 
cause no one beside writers can make tragedies look beautiful.

And the essence of soul is lost if it's seen only through eyes.

I'm the sum of all the hurt you've done to me.

A writer encounters tragedy solely when words fail him; 
otherwise, every circumstance offers a chance to write something.

-> Wrote it with help from a professor.

You were always intelligent than me
You were always elder than me
The boy in me could never see the woman in you.

It's life. 
Everyone goes through the same experience. 
Just the lenses are different. 

-> Give it a second thought.

To have clarity of thoughts you must possess 
the ability to provoke each pixel.

I think of you 99% of the time. 
I've put my life into the rest 1%.

Cause she's the goddess I've been craving for all my life.

Love the way you speak out your heart 
Without diluting the words with some art.